xxxtentacion

by Victoria Hernandez

XXXTENTACION was shot and killed outside of a motorsport dealership last month at the age of 20. The news rocked the music world and I personally was really shaken. I’m glad I didn’t post anything right away because now I have at least a little more clarity in my thoughts. Or at least I hope so.
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Yes, X was a complex person who did a lot of things that are wrong. And he also was a very real human being and one of the greatest artists of our time.
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My heart breaks because I know those close to X really believed in him and had hope that he was turning his life around. There was a clear light at the end of the tunnel. And now he’s gone.
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I honestly really love X’s music. Maybe not absolutely all of it, but he poured his heart into his art and it’s so honest and real there’s nothing out now that compares to it. Even his ignorant, reckless stuff seemingly has a purpose. I remember even sitting in church and there was a sermon about maybe seeking attention from the wrong places or something, and it just really hit me how “Look at Me!” is the cry of a generation.
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I have always had a hard time in deciding how to show my support for X and now I’m really regretting not speaking up for his artistry and humanity. It was a journey for me too trust me. I had my reasons for not posting about his music and even when he first started gaining popularity I asked my bosses about the integrity of posting his music on our site. I guess it still is a journey for me.
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Anyways I took this pic at Rolling Loud and I love how hopeful he looks. At the moment, I was surprised how deep he rolled and how confident he was in his element. I wonder if he really knew the power he held.
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It does make me sad how yesterday the footage of him lying there helpless went viral. I can’t help but shudder at how eerie his song “Looking for a Star” is now…. “She sat there and watched as I bled”…..
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I pray for X’s family and friends and the girl that he hurt. May she find true healing and peace. I hope she feels heard and loved too.
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I pray that I no longer stand back and watch, bottling up my words that, even if they are unpopular, could bring life, hope, or change. I don’t want to stand there and watch people bleed anymore.
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rip✨